Moving on Up…

We have all had our war stories…moving just opens you up to feeling the love or feeling the frustration. A few amusing “Observations” of my “Move” across Gwinnett:

1) I did a massive clean-out to move from Philly to Atlanta 5 years ago. Apparently, I neglected to not honor my previous “non-accumulation clause.” $#%^%
2) I own more accessories than any average person should ever accumulate in one location. Someone should have reminded me my name is NOT Kate Middleton. Sheesh.
3) I am officially discarding/selling the last of my “first apartment/college temporary” Ikea furniture product. Therefore, I should be able to proceed to adulthood. Or feel extremely pathetic I have moved it over 5 times.
Sigh.
4) I wonder if I should be concerned that I have no idea how ALL this stuff fit here in the first place. Good thing for downsizing.
5)Finally, as I pack each box I recognize how many memories were made and how much I appreciate the good times and challenges I faced in this place. Looking forward to moving on up!!!

How do you handle the trials and tribulations of moving, Gwinnett?

Dear Parents of Children…From the Singleton, Childless Woman

trying to be good

I just finished babysitting your baby today.

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I have salmon stuck on my neck and in the crease under my left breast.

My eardrum is damaged due to high frequency screaming.

I had to hold her while I was peeing because from her perspective it seemed like Satan himself would rape and kill her slowly if I put her down thus I did not get the chance to wipe myself properly…

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…no matter though as I am covered in a thick layer of sweat from pushing the stroller up the hill so a bit more wet between the legs even things out.

I washed my hair this morning but all of a sudden it looks like a stringy bag of shit pile.

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I haven’t had a chance to eat anything except snatching a few cold peas from her snack pack and my head is pounding.

I watched her draw on…

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